Ghost

Escaping the rat race, and stuff

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

I wrote a poem earlier. I write poetry every day, but today, the words were unwieldy. I felt stuck, bogged down by work and daily expectations. Sometimes, this is when I can write something decent, because I have to rely entirely on my emotions.

Today was no different - I relied on my emotions - but I wouldn’t say it resulted in anything decent.

It did, however, come from my heart.

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It’s no secret that I write my poetry primarily for Meta - Instagram and Facebook. That doesn’t mean I bring it here as an afterthought. I bring it here as a resting place. But I am part of the Meta rat race.

On Instagram, I feel like I’m always hurrying to keep up, and it isn’t really fun anymore. Although I love the community I’ve created over there, I’m tired. It doesn’t always feel authentic. I see copy-and-paste comments. I see mistakes in the comment section - the wrong name, spelling errors - that just reek of insincerity. People seem to be more concerned with a comment for a comment, a follow for a follow, a like for a like. There’s no real feeling applied.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone - not by a long shot. There is much to love on Instagram. But it’s hard work. And I think I prefer it here.

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Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I don’t know. Maybe I just need a break. It’s been almost three months since I took any annual leave, and I’m ready for a week off.

I’m not sure my thoughts on Instagram will change, though. It’s been coming on for a while now. I haven’t felt entirely comfortable there for a long time.

Years ago, when I started the Poetic Reveries page on IG with a few other poets, none of us were doing it for the “fame”. We just wanted to help the community, especially the smaller pages.

Fast forward eight years and I’m still not on Instagram to “be seen”. I operate largely behind the scenes, I don’t take myself seriously, I don’t share my face - you know my name, but I am semi-anonymous. I’m just there for the words, and to share something special with the community. My Meta tribe are the ones who don’t need to be Insta-famous to know that they are part of something good.

When I first came here to Substack, I shared my face in my profile pic as I wanted to be real and authentic. But after some creepy DMs, I changed it. I’m just a writer - I’m not looking for unhealthy attention. I want to share my words, and if anyone reads them, then that’s a bonus.

So, on the basis of some of the above, I wrote this poem. And then I wrote this blog post, and I don’t know why or what I’m really trying to say, but I guess I needed to purge something.

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Ghost

Do not look for me;
I do not wish to be seen—
I do not wish to be gleaned;

let me remain
on the periphery—
a quiet presence,
just passing through;

I do not hunger for fame
or for the weight of a name—
I am a ghost
that drifts gently past;

I only came 
to leave something small behind—
a little more light
than there was before.

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As you were.

Jo xo